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Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share). (Read 3553 times)
Stanley Carter
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #105 - 12/19/08 at 13:44:20
 
Osama's Letter

Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting, to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter. It contained a single line of coded message:

370HSSV 0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.

Within a few minutes MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down!"
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Feel the Groove, Saiko D Power...

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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #106 - 12/19/08 at 14:59:40
 
Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin I loled so hard in the school library ppl are looking at me like I'm a freak.  ;D Grin
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Stanley Carter
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #107 - 12/19/08 at 16:59:14
 


1337 skills!
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Charlie
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #108 - 12/20/08 at 06:19:40
 
Stanley Carter wrote on 12/19/08 at 13:44:20:
Osama's Letter

Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting, to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter. It contained a single line of coded message:

370HSSV 0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.

Within a few minutes MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down!"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
That was a great one, Stan!!!
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #109 - 03/26/09 at 17:21:06
 
Wife...

John was in supermarket the other day pushing my cart around when he collided with a young guy pushing his cart.

He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.."

The young guy said, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

John said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy said, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight
white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

John said, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #110 - 05/22/09 at 16:57:14
 
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.  

He looked up and said weakly:      

'I have something I must confess.'  

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,

'I want to die in peace.

I slept with your sister, your best friend,    

her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied,  

'now just rest and let the poison work.'
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Stanley Carter
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #111 - 05/25/09 at 01:25:12
 
Nuvolari wrote on 05/22/09 at 16:57:14:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.  

He looked up and said weakly:      

'I have something I must confess.'  

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,

'I want to die in peace.

I slept with your sister, your best friend,    

her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied,  

'now just rest and let the poison work.'


ouch.
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #112 - 06/24/09 at 18:25:02
 




I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #113 - 06/26/09 at 16:44:57
 
Nuvolari wrote on 06/24/09 at 18:25:02:
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.





Now there is a knee slapper if I have ever seen one.  :P
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sig made by Vendetta

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Stanley Carter
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #114 - 11/28/09 at 13:00:18
 
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also
the owner, hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork.
He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.."

"Unbelievable!" in the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa, who is also the cook, and tells her what has just happened.

A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner brings him a menu.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen..

He tells his wife, "Theresa, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Theresa does it and hands her husband the fork.

As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says,

"Hey, I didn't know that Theresa works here

——————————————————

This blind man is a playa!  ;D Grin Grin
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #115 - 11/28/09 at 14:30:23
 
lol
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #116 - 11/28/09 at 20:38:55
 
Haha, Where do you find these?  ;D
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #117 - 12/09/09 at 16:39:47
 
"I come from the land down under."

YEH, WE'RE ALL SUCH A SMART BUNCH

Rural Australian Computer Terminology
 A little bit of Aussie culcha.....

LOG ON:                 Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter.
LOG OFF:                Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.
MONITOR:                Keeping an eye on the Barbie.
DOWNLOAD:       Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:    Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD:        Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW:          What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:                   What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE:           What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE:                 What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP:                    A bar snack.
MICROCHIP:      What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:          What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP:                   Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE:       Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE:       Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE:          The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:      What holds the shed up.
WEB:                       What spiders make...
WEBSITE:        Usually in the shed or under the veranda.
SEARCH ENGINE:          What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:         What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:           What you say when the Ute does starts

UPGRADE:        A steep hill.

SERVER:                  The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:      The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER:                   The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:        What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET:                Where you want the fish to go in to.

NETSCAPE:       What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.

ONLINE:                  Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE:         Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #118 - 12/11/09 at 03:53:57
 
Grin
I remember there was one with all of them illustrated.
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Re: Humour. (someone sent me this, thought I'd share).
Reply #119 - 02/05/10 at 07:22:24
 
Anyone following savagechickens?


:D
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